Vanessa | Thornton, CO

“In recovery, I’ve learned that all my journeys—mental, emotional, and substance recovery—need equal attention, and I need to be as willing to accept love and compassion as I am to give it to others.”

My substance use began in my early 20s. I worked as a bartender and played music, which provided attention and the drugs gave me a way to mask the pain of not fitting in. This continued for years, eventually leading to time in prison. After serving four years of a 10-year sentence, I focused on myself, learned to love who I truly was, and began my recovery journey.

A pivotal moment inside prison changed everything. An older inmate told me to focus on myself, reminding me that the only thing that mattered was my inmate ID number. That moment led me to realize I didn’t need to please anyone but myself and to prioritize my recovery over everything.

In 2019, after realizing I had lost everything—family, connection, trust—I began to focus on my recovery. Yoga helped me shed my ego and start healing. My journey was about reclaiming my authentic self, and when I transitioned to become Vanessa it was a powerful turning point. I finally embraced who I was and began to truly love myself.

The recovery community is where I found unconditional love and acceptance. People in recovery often feel defeated, but once we start healing, we return that love. When I transitioned, I feared I’d lose the connections I had built, but the opposite happened. I was accepted, and it empowered others in the community to embrace their own truths.

In early recovery, I struggled with boundaries, often going above and beyond for others. But I learned that coddling people can harm their recovery. Many of my close friends didn’t set boundaries, and I lost them. Now, I make sure to focus on my own foundation first, balancing all aspects of my recovery, including mental health and trauma.

My passion now lies in helping others on their recovery journey, speaking about my journey, and encouraging others to step into their truth. I believe our voices are powerful, and when we listen with our hearts, we see people for who they truly are—not their race, gender, or background, but as humans deserving of love, acceptance, and a second chance.