“Addiction is not a choice; we need to love and forgive those struggling.” 

Dr. Oberly | Southern Ute Tribal Member

“If you’re still struggling with substance use, reach deep down inside your heart and soul and forgive yourself; give yourself permission to love yourself through your addiction.”

My name is Dr. Stacey Oberly, and I am enrolled in Southern Ute. I have a doctorate in linguistics from the University of Arizona. Right now, I am finishing out the last few months of my first three-year term serving as a Southern Ute Tribal Council member.

My relationship with substance use began before I was born, maybe even before my mom was born. My grandparents on both sides, maternal and paternal, had issues with alcohol use. As did both my parents. So, I grew up in an environment where drinking was always present.

Because I grew up in that environment, I started drinking at eight years old. From 14 to 22, my entire life centered around drinking. At 22, I decided I needed to stop because I was tired of getting blacked out. I wanted to break the cycle of heavy drinking because it had just continued across generations in my family.

Although I have been in recovery for 31 years, and I’m very proud of it, I still feel a sense of stigma to admit that I am a recovering alcoholic. But I can overcome that stigma if I’m open and honest about what I’ve been through and how I have lived. When we do that, we can help others avoid our mistakes.

There are parts of our culture that can also help us overcome addiction and stay in recovery. Growing up, our family attended the sweat ceremony at the Lake Red Ute House. To sweat, you can’t have used substances for a few days. So, looking forward to the sweat ceremony provides another reason to avoid substance use. My grandfather was a Sun Dance Chief when he got sober. When you’re a Sun Dancer, you don’t use alcohol. You’re supposed to live above that stuff. You’re a servant to the community, and you put yourself second to the community.

Knowing how to pray, how to smudge, how to be a supporter of the Sun Dance ceremony, and how to have a close connection with The Creator can provide guidance and create a sense of connection to the community and heritage that can keep people from using substances.

Lastly, some programs are oriented toward Native American culture. The White Bison program is a culturally-based healing program for Native American people. It’s based on traditional beliefs through the Red Road of how we connect with The Creator.

As a community, we want to create a comprehensive program called The Healing Village. It’s designed to see what we can do to help our tribal members struggling with addiction. Because right now, if someone is struggling with addiction and goes to treatment, they have to go to treatment off the reservation. When they come back, there’s no support like sober living or anything like that. So, it’s easier to fall back into addiction. We want to develop a wraparound program where if they go to rehab, and come back to a support system here.

We have a lot to offer those struggling with substance use, and we’re hoping to offer more. But before anyone takes that first step, I would say this: If you’re still struggling with substance use, reach deep down inside your heart and soul and forgive yourself; give yourself permission to love yourself through your addiction.

Linda | Tribal Council Member

“My message for those struggling with a loved one’s addiction is keep reaching out, even when it feels like no one is listening. Let them know they are loved, they are valued, and you still have hope for them.”

I’m Linda and the mother of a daughter who struggles with substance use disorder. As a parent, my journey has always been about family, community, and culture, and this journey included my daughter until substance use took her away. Her departure impacted every member of our family.  

I’ve learned that the most important thing to do is keep reaching out. Even if I don’t get a response, I remind my daughter that she is loved, valued, and that we are still here for her. She knows she has a family that misses her and friends who ask about her. She is reminded of past memories and that there are more memories waiting to be created.

I’ve learned that recovery is personal for those trying to heal. It can be found in unexpected place, people or experiences, and doesn’t always follow a straight, defined path. Recovery can happen by stepping outside of one’s comfort zone, even leaving the familiarity of our small community to find a support system that works. I’ve seen it happen—people leave, build connections elsewhere, and come back stronger. It takes courage to trust yourself, to know that the choices you make for your healing are your own, and that the journey doesn’t have to be decided by what others think.

Through all of this, I am thankful to my family. My grandchildren—her children—are my priority, but I want my daughter to know, without shame or judgment, that she is still my child and will always be loved by me. I am thankful for her brothers who reach out to her. I am thankful for my tribe and community who ask about her and want to see her well, happy, and thriving.

Being a loved one of someone in active addiction isn’t easy, but hope is what carries me forward. I hope that my daughter will find her path; hope that she’ll remember the love waiting for her. Hope that recovery isn’t a destination; it’s a journey we can walk together, one day at a time.

Hanley | Southern Ute Elder

“Recovery began when I looked in the mirror and chose to become who I was meant to be.”

My name is Hanley, and I am a Sun Dancer, a Southern Ute Elder, and a person in active recovery.

My early life was deeply rooted in the traditions and values of my people. I was raised by my grandparents who were ranchers, spiritual leaders, and cultural teachers. They instilled in me the strength and spirit of the Ute way. Despite that strong foundation, my path eventually led me away from those teachings. After moving to Denver, I fell into substance use at a young age. Those years of addiction were marked by violence, self-destruction, and deep pain; which eventually led me to jail.

It was in that moment of stillness that I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening. A moment that made me look within and acknowledge that I needed to change. Facing a possible prison sentence, I made a vow to turn my life around. Focusing my path on my sobriety, and living a life of service and faith.

Today, I am proud to say I have been sober for 27 years. I now serve as a spiritual leader leading sweat ceremonies, the Sun Dance, and other cultural gatherings that strengthen our people’s spirit. I also work with our Elder Services, helping care for and uplift the elders who continue to guide us.

Beyond that, I am an advocate for suicide prevention and culturally grounded recovery, working alongside our Behavioral Health team to help others heal through tradition, language, and ceremony. These practices are not just part of our culture, they are medicine for the soul.

All in all, I am who I am because of where I’ve been; shaped by my past, guided by my traditions, and continuing to grow into the person I strive to become.

Namichen | Southern Ute Tribal Member

“Ask for help without shame. Lean on others, stay honest, and show up for your recovery. Addiction affects more people than you realize, and you are deeply loved.”

My name is Namichen. I am a college student, a member of the Southern Ute Tribe, and someone in active recovery from addiction.

My journey hasn’t been easy. I started using meth when I was 17, trying to cope with anxiety, depression, and self-harm. Addiction quickly took over, and I began to lose parts of myself until my family stepped in to give me the push I needed to find recovery. They got me into a detox program that helped kick-start my healing process. Although after a month, I checked myself out early, which I truly regret. 

After witnessing the tragic loss of my then boyfriend due to a self-inflected gun shot, I relapsed for two years. Those were some of the darkest years of my life. Navigating life through that loss and relapse, I often found it hard to stay grounded or know how to move forward. There were moments that offered glimpses of hope, but one in particular has always stayed with me. One night, I stayed up until sunrise. As I watched the sun rise, I felt its warmth and love on my face, and then I saw a hawk flying overhead. Later that morning, my mom called to tell me she had prayed for me. I could feel that love. That was the moment I knew I wasn’t alone, and I wanted to change.

I’ve now been sober for five years. Sobriety has reconnected me with my culture, my spirit, and my family. I dance again at Bear Dance, join my relatives in ceremony, and pray in sweat lodges that heal me from the inside out. I also work with my mom’s Ute Language Revitalization Program, helping teach our youth about their language and heritage. I’ve found the peace I longed for and continue to grow and nurture life again.

Recovery isn’t linear. My advice to anyone seeking it is simple: don’t give up. Ask for help. You are loved, even when you can’t feel it. You are worth saving, and you are resilient.

Alfreda | So. Ute, So. Cheyenne & Caddo Nation

“Recovery begins the moment we choose to plant new roots and give that hope a chance to grow. We all carry resilience within us already.”

My name is Morning Starr (Alfreda), I am So. Ute, So. Cheyenne and Caddo Nation. I am a mother of six children and have eight grandchildren. I’ve lived most of my life in Oklahoma and it’s where I started my journey of recovery and healing, thus being able to bring how my experience, strength and hope so many others may heal. I recover out loud because my story can help someone else from struggling in silence and know they are not alone.

My 50 year journey was not easy as I grew up with childhood trauma, domestic violence, community trauma, intergenerational trauma and not knowing my self worth. I began drinking at age 11, experienced abusive relationships, and spent years caught between addiction, prison, self destruction and toxic relationships. The breaking point came in 2016, when I lost my son and had to make the decision to take him off life support. I turned away from Father God and sank deeper into drugs and alcohol, losing four years of my life.

Then one night, I dreamt of my son while I was in county jail on my way to prison for the third time. That dream pushed me to finally and truly ask for help. My recovery wasn’t immediate; I relapsed several times, but each time I got up again. Through DUI court, counseling, grief work, and eventually White Bison’s Wellbriety movement, I began healing not just my body but my spirit. I am the Founder and Director of Morning Starr Healing Inside and Out located in OKC and work for the Western Slope Native American Resource Center located in Grand Junction as the Wellbriety Advocate. I am a White Bison Firestarter and wherever I go I plant seeds of healing and hope.

Recovery for me means rediscovering my culture, wearing my regalia, dancing, attending sweat lodges, and honoring the traditions that make me rich in spirit. Healing is continuous. When I heal, I heal seven generations back and seven generations forward, forgiving the unforgivable.

I’ve faced stigma, as a Native woman and as a person who had a substance use disorder, but I’ve learned the biggest roadblock was myself. Once I learned to love and forgive myself, and accept Father God in my life, everything changed. I now speak publicly so that others know they’re not alone. Healing isn’t about perfection; it’s about persistence, love, compassion, and community.

To those still struggling or loving someone who is: show no judgment. Offer kindness. Recovery takes time, but there is always hope. I am living proof that no matter how far gone you feel, you can come back. Today, I am sober, grounded in myself again, and surrounded by my family and interconnected too many.  I live each day tending to my Healing Forest; one story, one heart, one fire at a time.

Johnathan | Ute Mountain Ute Descendent

“A strong support system reminds you you’re worth fighting for—until you learn to believe it yourself.”

My name is Johnathan, and I am a first descendant of the Ute Mountain Ute Tribe. I grew up mostly in Ignacio, surrounded by a big family, culture, and community. I always pictured myself growing into a strong father and leader. What I never pictured was addiction taking hold of my life before I even understood what was happening.

When I was 16, I hurt my back. Surgery was delayed because we didn’t have insurance, so doctors prescribed me pain pills to get by. I took them the way they told me to because I trusted that they knew what they were doing. At 19, I finally got the surgery, but instead of tapering me off, they prescribed even more opioids and told me to keep taking them. I didn’t realize my body had already built a dependency. I thought I was just doing what I was supposed to do.

Then one day, I decided to stop the medication. The withdrawal sickness hit quickly, but I didn’t even know that word at the time. All I knew was that I needed something to stop the shaking, the sweats, the panic. I started buying pills just to function. My values, my priorities and everything shifted to surviving the day.

My lowest moment came in a jail cell. My oldest son was just a baby, and he reached for me through the glass. That shattered me. I knew right then and there something had to change. 

I found a doctor who treated me like a human being and helped me get on Suboxone, a medication for opioid use disorder. I had some stumbles at the beginning as I navigated the road to recovery, but I knew I wanted to change for the better not only for myself, but for my family. Today, I’ve been in recovery for more than 12 years. 

The hardest part of recovery hasn’t been the withdrawal or the cravings; it’s the stigma. People saying addiction is a choice. People turning their backs instead of offering help. That judgment keeps too many people sick and silent.

So I speak up. I stay honest. I stay humble. And every day, I thank my kids because they saved my life before I even knew how to save my own.

Marie | Southern Ute Tribal Member

“Practicing our traditions can help with recovery from addiction.”

My name is Marie, and my tribal affiliation is the Southern Ute Tribe. I work for Tribal Information System, and I’m raising two daughters.

I struggled with alcohol use, but it hasn’t been in my life for a while. For me, family was an inspiration to find recovery. I wanted to be someone my kids looked up to. When you struggle with addiction, you’re labeled, and that judgment can keep you from getting help. People who haven’t been through it can look down on a person and make them feel small.

Practicing our traditions can help with recovery from addiction. When you get in touch with your culture, you can understand what you’re praying for, how to clear your mind or find energy that helps you stay calm. It’s why praying, sweating, and smudging will help you realize you’re not alone, even if you feel like you are.

If you have a family member struggling with addiction, let them know that there’s always a safe place for them to go when they reach out because sometimes, when you’re in addiction, it feels like you’re alone.

In our community, many of us females raise our kids by ourselves. Some might have been in a relationship for a long time with a partner also struggling with addiction. It’s a hard decision to separate, especially when you have kids, and it’s a decision you have to make about the well-being of your children. It’s not easy, but you have to remember that they’re watching and they’re learning. We talk about breaking the cycle. And doing what is best for your children is a part of that cycle. Even if you don’t know how to break it right away, that’s okay. Because your children will watch how you handled it and see you overcome addiction, that will help guide them to know that they don’t have to stay in the same place if they are ever in a similar situation.

Spencer | Southern Ute Tribal Member

“I realized the only roadblock to my recovery was me, but healing began when I chose to stop standing in my own way.”

My name is Spencer, and I am a proud Southern Ute Tribal member. I grew up surrounded by culture, family, and a community that cared about me. But even with love around me, somewhere along the way I lost love for myself. Addiction didn’t hit me all at once; it was slow and silent. One escape, one coping mechanism, until it took over my life completely. People liked to say it was a choice; that I could just decide to stop. But addiction is deeper than that it takes hold of your spirit and convinces you that you’re not worth saving.

I reached a point where I barely recognized the person staring back at me in the mirror. I was tired of the pain I caused myself and the people I cared about. I didn’t want to keep waking up to the same hopelessness. So I finally reached out to the higher power and asked, “What do I need to do to change? Why don’t I love myself?” And what I heard was this, “Go back to your childhood. Back to when you loved yourself. Back to your values, your morals, who you were before addiction.”

It sounds simple, but going back was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had to dig into old memories and old wounds. I had to forgive myself for things that happened when I was too young to understand any of it. I had to figure out what I was missing and what I found was family. Connection. Belonging. I realized that to heal, I had to understand my own heart and body again. I had to reflect on what truly mattered: the roots I came from and the people who have always been there.

Today, I’m living in recovery. I’m rebuilding my life with intention, grounded in who I am and who I want to become. I show up for myself, for those who love me, and for those still fighting.

To anyone struggling, I want you to know this: You are still in there. The version of you who believed, who loved, who hoped; that person isn’t gone. You just have to reach back and bring them forward again. You are worth every step of recovery.

DeLaina | Ute Mountain Ute Tribal Member

“People say addiction is a choice, but they ignore that it’s a disease. Getting help isn’t as simple as deciding to stop—it takes deep commitment and trust.”

My name is DeLaina, and I’m enrolled with the Ute Mountain Ute Tribe. I grew up in Towaoc and Ignacio, Colorado. I’m currently preparing to start a position with Tribal Services, helping Social Services, Vocational Rehabilitation, Emergency Family Services, and Food Distribution. My days are flexible, going where I’m needed, and I’m proud I can serve the community while I continue to build my life.

My addiction began in 2019 with a single oxycodone pill laced with fentanyl. At the time I didn’t know much about fentanyl nor how dangerous it could be. One quarter of a pill gave me minor symptoms of an overdose, and yet that didn’t stop me. Over the next two years, I used many substances: pills, alcohol, and more; losing myself along the way. I stayed isolated and was ashamed, no one really knew what was going on in my life. I thought I could manage it on my own, but my addiction was something that couldn’t be handled alone.   

In 2021, I finally decided to ask for help. With guidance from Behavioral Health Services, I was introduced to therapy and treatment called Suboxone, a medication to help opioid disorder. I was asked to flush what I had. I took a piece of suboxone, and threw myself into withdrawal, that moment I realized I was done. I never wanted to feel that again. I began the road to recovery. It wasn’t easy, nor was it instant, but it was the moment I reclaimed my life. I’ve been sober for four years.

Recovery has taught me the value of life, support and community. My baby sister has been my confidant, holding me accountable and reminding me that I am not alone. I’ve also sought spiritual healing through ceremonies, and sweats, which also helped me connect with my culture and strength. 

Today, I feel grounded, resilient and hopeful. I’m committed to sharing my story to help others understand the dangers of addiction and the possibility of recovery. I want people to know that it’s okay to ask for help, to set boundaries, and walk the Red Road in their own way. I survived addiction and I’m thriving not only for me, but my son, my family and anyone who might see their own journey reflected in mine.

Randi | Ute Mountain Ute Tribal Member

“Being present, even if you are sitting in silence, can mean a lot to someone struggling with addiction.”

My name is Randi, and I am from the Ute Mountain Ute Tribe. I am also Southern Ute and Hispanic. I work for the Southern Ute Tribal Court as a Probation Clerk.

I didn’t start drinking until after high school, but once I started, I drank a lot. My drinking got worse as I got older and after I had my daughter. Being a young parent was hard. Also being the only parent with all the responsibilities was not easy. But with my mom and close family, I had the support that I needed to raise my daughter.

Fast forward some years later, I met my husband, who is also on his own sober path. He has 9 years sober this year. My husband quit before I did. I realized that if I did not stop, we probably wouldn’t be together. I quit drinking a year after him. We have been together 11 years.

In a small community, there is a lot of stigma around addiction. Everybody knows each other and they think they know what’s going on in people’s lives. People hear about your struggles and assume you will not change. That kind of attitude can keep people from seeking help.

Luckily, there is help. Southern Ute has the Behavioral Health Department, where they can get you set up with treatment or help you apply for Medicaid. Within the Southern Ute Tribal Court, there is a Wellness Court. Wellness court uses our culture, as well as other resources to help people with addiction. You can meet with someone from the culture department, and they will ask about your interests in learning the Southern Ute culture and offer you new skills and connections to culture, like beadwork, sewing ribbon skirts, Ute language, or other cultural classes. In general, there’s also much more discussion around mental health these days. Which I think plays a huge part in addiction and sobriety.

Loved ones can also be resources. Being present, even if you are sitting in silence, can mean a lot to someone struggling with addiction. If you are someone who is still in active addiction, you are not alone. It seems like you are by yourself in that moment, but if you reach out, someone is out there. I am here.

Cavanaugh | Southern Ute Tribal Member

“The Southern Ute community has played a huge role in helping me stay in recovery.”

My name is Cavanaugh, but I go by Junior, and I am a Southern Ute Indian.

I started drinking when I was very young, at around 12 years old. After falling in with a rough crowd, my drinking took off at fifteen. Reflecting on my life back then, I had no control over my drinking. I felt it progressing and getting more serious. A divorce in 2019 left me feeling sad and angry. It was as if my world had fallen apart, and the only thing helping me along was alcohol. That feeling took me down the wrong road and got me into trouble with the law, including back-to-back DUIs.

I got myself into treatment. At first, I felt like I didn’t want to be there or need to be there. But the longer I stayed, the more vulnerable and open I was able to be. Finally, sharing my whole story helped to break me down.

I put in the work on myself, but I’ve had support. The Southern Ute community has played a huge role in helping me stay in recovery. A lot of is the culture: getting back to our bear dances, attending sun dances, coming to our museum. The community has given back to me. And I try to give back to the community, like going to visit our people that are in our senior center. The White Bison program has helped me, too. It’s similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, but it’s done the Native American way.

Since we’re a small community, many people are scared to say that they’re struggling with addiction. But being honest with yourself and being honest about yourself gives you strength.

One of the things I hope people hear or feel in our groups is, “Hey, I’m here to struggle with you. You’re not alone; I’m right here with you. Take my number if you need someone to call.”

Willette Whiteskunk | Southern Ute Tribal Member

“People judge addiction because they don’t understand it. We need to learn how to talk about addiction openly, instead of treating it like a taboo.”

My name is Willette Whiteskunk, and I am a proud Southern Ute woman. These days, I’m retired and appreciating the quiet peace I have in my life. It wasn’t always like this, though.

I started drinking young, around 15. Back then, it felt like a way to belong, to cope. I carried a lot of hurt; growing up with a father who had a substance use disorder, losing my mother early, and hearing too often that I wasn’t good enough. I married young, got sober for a while, but when the marriage turned abusive, I relapsed. That’s when the depression set in deep. I got into trouble, ended up locked up, and it forced me to take a hard look at my life.

When I came home, I told myself; this is enough. I threw the bottles away, literally tossed them in the trash, and said, “No more.” That was about 13 years ago, and I’ve been sober since. It feels like freedom. My mind is clearer, my spirit lighter and most importantly, I’m showing my children and grandchildren a better way.

It wasn’t easy. I faced stigma; mostly from within myself. Guilt, shame, and the feeling that I’d failed myself. But I learned that healing starts with trust and awareness. I relied on my faith, my family, and my culture. I’ve found strength in our traditional medicines, in smudging, in speaking my language, and in the ceremonies my father once led as a Sun Dancer. My culture brought me back to myself, to Creator, to balance, to purpose.

Addiction doesn’t just touch one person; it affects everyone. That’s why I talk about it openly now. I believe the more we speak, the more we heal. My message to others is simple: talk to Creator, follow your culture, and never stop believing in yourself. Healing is possible. I’m living proof.

Marvina | Ute Mountain Ute Tribal Member

“Our culture can be a tool in fighting addiction.”

My name is Marvina, and I am Ute Mountain Ute.

I am the peer recovery coach for Southern Ute Health Center’s Behavioral Health Division. I work in the community with people struggling with addiction and alcoholism. I also participate in the Wellness Court Team and the Family Treatment Court Team at the Southern Ute Justice Center.

One of the important things I do is to change perceptions about addiction and help people see the benefits of things like naloxone and fentanyl test strips. At first, some people aren’t ready to see the benefit, but explaining how it can save a life helps to change their perception.

For some, addiction still isn’t talked about. It’s swept under the rug. But addiction is here. We’ve lost a lot of community members to it. In fact, death and substance use disorder have become common enough that there’s starting to be a sense of normalcy around it. And we can’t change that until we start having conversations about addiction and stigma. So we’re trying to change the perception of people who don’t use substances while also informing those who do know about resources that are available to them.

We need to make resources even more accessible. Some Native American communities face additional challenges to get to those resources. Even Behavioral Health is located 11 miles away in Durango. That’s why I’m willing to meet people anywhere as a peer recovery coach.

There are ways in which the Southern Ute Tribe has come together to fight addiction. We’ve collaborated with different departments of the Tribe, the division of social services, family court support, the police department, and the tribal courts. We’re pushing people to work together and overcome addiction, primarily through the events we put on. We’re focusing on the youth and showing them how to have fun without using drugs and alcohol through their own culture.

Our culture can be a tool in fighting addiction. Returning to my roots and using ceremonies like the bear dances, the Sundance, making connections at the powwow, and being at the cultural events, create a bridge to other generations, teach us about our culture, and create the connection we need to overcome addiction.

Mary Lou | Navajo Tribal Member

“Beyond the resources, it’s important to keep pushing as life happens, even if you are in recovery.”

My name is Mary Lou, and I am affiliated with the Navajo tribe. These days, I am going to college part-time, I’m working part-time, and I am a full-time mother.

My relationship with substance use started when I was really young. I started drinking when I was 10, started smoking weed by age 12, and by age 15 I started using meth. My substance use continued to progress until I felt like I had no morals. I didn’t care about anything and isolated myself from my family. I became pregnant at 22. I wanted to stop, but I was worried about what might happen to my baby. When she was born, she was taken from me. I was heartbroken, but I also wanted them to help her. I missed her so much and wanted to be there for her. I used those feelings to seek treatment and find the determination to get myself into recovery. I went through treatment and put in the work. Within a year, I’ve completed six months of treatment, three parenting classes, found a job, and I’m going to school. I will have custody of my daughter back by January 1st.

In treatment, I often felt stigmatized. It didn’t feel like doctors and nurses listened to me. It can feel like they don’t take your pain seriously or listen to your needs. Those attitudes made it even harder to stay in treatment.

One thing that can help with these issues would be more addiction resources for our communities. When you’re in the depths of your addiction, you can’t just stop. More resources, like treatment centers, medications for opioid use disorder, counselors, and recovery coaches, mean professionals can give you more individualized treatment.

Beyond the resources, it’s important to keep pushing as life happens, even if you are in recovery. Remember what you’ve been through to get to where you are because remembering your hardships can inspire you to keep going minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

We remember Mary Lou Gutierrez, a vibrant and strong individual of the Navajo Tribe whose spirit and grace left a lasting mark on all who knew her. Her openness in sharing her recovery journey inspired many, and she spoke with joy about her experience as a mother. Her legacy lives on through her daughter and the many lives she touched with her courage and kindness. Though she is no longer with us, Mary Lou will forever remain in our hearts.